Excellence Over Perfection
By Kim Scheidegger, LPC-MHPS-S, Director of Child & Adolescent Services
Did you know that 25 percent of all adolescent girls report feeling a need to be perfect? While staggering, I would argue that on some level, the majority of girls struggle with perfectionism. In a world of constant comparison exacerbated by social media, girls can feel like they are not enough or will never measure up to society’s image of perfection. Striving for perfection is their way of seeking acceptance and approval, which are two things they desperately want. However, attempting to achieve perfectionism may instead lead to anxiety and depression.
2 Corinthians 12:9 states, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” God does not expect us to be perfect. Instead, He tells us that His grace is sufficient for us. So this begs the question, how do we help our girls live in the grace and acceptance of Christ?
Practice showing grace. Girls can become highly self-critical when they perceive they have failed. We can practice showing them grace and encouraging them to show grace to themselves.
Redefine success. Begin to set realistic goals and celebrate progress along the way. Philippians 1:6 states, “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Each of us is a work in progress, and success looks different along the way.
Allow yourself to fail. Many girls don’t know how to fail. I know we never want to watch our kids fail, but failure is a part of life for each of us. We have to be able to teach girls that failure is okay; that failure is how we learn, and how to respond when we experience failure.
Strive for excellence, not perfection. Doing our best even when it is not perfect is a success.
Do you have a girl in your life struggling with perfectionism? At HeartLife, beginning Nov. 7, we will be hosting an Art Therapy group focusing on just that. This group is designed for girls in third through sixth grade to understand the difference between excellence and perfection. If interested in this group for your child, please click here to submit an inquiry form and we will call you within 24-48 hours. We hope you will join us!
Call 901.756.5788 or email us at frontdesk@heartlifesoulcare.org for more information!
Girls Art and Therapy Group: Excellence Over Perfection
This is a therapist-led group that will focus on choosing excellence over perfection. Girls will engage in fun art projects to reinforce learning!
Who: 3rd-6th grade girls*
When: Tuesdays from 4-5, November 7, 14, 28, and December 5
Price: $275 + $20 supply fee
Led by: Kim Scheidegger LPC-MHSP-S
*exceptions when appropriate